We should chat..i want new friends
Im so done
I gave wrong people the right pieces of me.
It’s unfortunate how many people didn’t take this message away from the debate.
Bill Nye was just SO ENTHUSIASTIC about the topic. You could tell.
For God’s sake, the man was trying to teach people about photosynthesis when asked what his favourite colour was. That’s a man that ADORES science and absolutely loves teaching people.
Suddenly, I was 12 and watching a Bill Nye The Science Guy episode at my grandma’s school while she was decorating the gym.
Bill Nye is like the Mister Roger’s of science
he legitimately cares about what he is talking about and enthusiastically encourages people to take something positive away from it
Bill Nye is the Mister Rogers of science
Bob Ross is the Mister Rogers of art
and Mister Rogers is… well, Mister Rogers
what if they could join forces
Same shirt, different girl.
5’9” Weight watchers.-143lbs.
Have you ever been to earth?
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
People eat burritos with forks?
God is sorry he made us.
I always need this on my blog.
I can’t be laughing this hard in the morning.
Feature films, independent films, short films, and yes even B films. This masterpost has been created to showcase the stories of people of color, who love, laugh, cry, and kick ass. This is by no means the end all list of movies featuring people of color, there are thousands of great films out there, this is just a snippet of films found for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.
.D R A M A S.
- Things Never Said (2013)
- La Mission (2009) 1 & 2
- Mississippi Masala (1991)
- Unbowed (1999)
- Love and Basketball (2000)
- The Joy Luck Club (1993)
- Samson and Delilah (2009)
- The Last Fall (2012)
- Not Easily Broken (2009)
- Disappearing Acts (2000)
- Mabo (2012)
- 42 (2013)
- Jason’s Lyric (1994)
- My Family (1995)
- Dangerous Liaisons (2012)
.R O M C O M S.
- Our Family Wedding (2010)
- About Last Night (2014
- American Fusion (2005)
- Think Like A Man (2012)
- Jumping the Broom (2011)
- Baggage Claim (2013)
- Politics of Love (2008)
- Peeples (2013)
- Deliver Us From Eva (2003)
- Just Wright (2010)
- Hitch (2005)
- It’s a Wonderful Afterlife (2010)
- Fakin da Funk (1997)
- Chasing Papi (2003)
- Hasee Toh Phasee (2014)
.D R A M A D I E S.
- Brown Sugar (2002) BM/BW
- I Can Do Bad All By Myself (2009) LM/BW
- The Best Man (1999)
- The Best Man Holiday (2013)
- The Preacher’s Wife (1996)
- I LIke it Like That (1994)
- Soul Food (1997)
- Why Did I Get Married? (2007)
- Why Did I Get Married Too (2010)
- Waiting to Exhale (1995)
- Last Holiday (2006)
.R O M A N C E.
- Love Jones (1999)
- Poetic Justice (1993)
- Rodgers & Hammerstein’s Cinderella (1998)
- How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)
- Claudine (1974)
- Paris Blues (1961)
- One Love (2003)
- Their Eyes Were Watching God (2005)
- Turning 30 (2011)
- In the Mood for Love (2000)
- Like Water for Chocolate (1992)
.A C T I O N/.T H R I L L E R.
- Romeo Must Die (2000)
- Ninja Assassin (2009)
- Woman Thou Art Loosed On the 7th Day
- The Last Letter (2013)
- Obsessed (2009)
.L G B T F I L M S.
- Saving Face
- Noah’s Arc Jumping the Broom (2008)
- Finding Me (2009)
- Circumstances (2011)
- Gun Hill Road (2011)
- The Skinny (2012)
- Drifting Flower
- Round Trip
- Elliot Loves (2012)
.S H O R T S.
- Tall Enough (2009)
- Love Escapes Us (2014)
- This Time (2010)
- Dragon of Love (2003)
- White Sugar in a Black Pot (2012)
.A N I M AT I O N.